I’ve started this – my ‘first post since the birth of my first born’ – a few times. I guess the whirlwind of the past few weeks has just been full of so many new things, so many new feelings, that I had no idea where to start.
Beginning parenthood is like being thrust into an entirely different universe. The world seems to literally change around you. Birth itself (which I may write about later) is an experience so out of this world that I can hardly believe it happened (and that I was even capable of such a feat). The past couple of weeks with our little Nathan home have been crazy, wonderful, exhausting, exciting, horrible, and a blessing, all in one. I had no idea so many fears, hopes, and emotions could well up in me because of one very tiny little person.
I am so much happier now that Nathan is here, and yet these have probably been the hardest weeks of my life. Never before have I been so desperately dependent on God in constant prayer and thankfulness for hope, strength, patience, mercy, and rest. But most amazing of all, the introduction of our son into our lives has opened my own eyes so much more to God’s remarkable gospel – how unfathomable it is that I, a frail, sinful person – am the object of the perfect love, saving power and divine preservation of the God of the universe. Feeling weak, out of breath and out of strength has dried me of any consideration for earthly fulfillments – and has provided plenty of opportunities for God to be my only source of help and triumph in the little battles of every day.
The fight for joy through prayer bears much fruit of thankfulness, and knowing that things will get easier is a great help. Family and friends have provided much needed assistance in so many ways, and God has also provided means of support from doctors/other professionals, the community, and our church.
I am genuinely excited to be able to witness and be a big part of Nathan growing up from a baby into a full grown person (can’t even fathom it – yet!!), and am even more excited that I have the privilege of discipling him and raising him in the instruction and admonition of the Lord, with His help.
Please be praying for our little family as we settle into our new dynamic – Christ be exalted!